A good seat on the bench can prove to be allusive. The Parliament has its usual spot at the end of the bench but sometimes the Parliament gets separated. It is not unusual to find ourselves out of place sitting at the front end of the bench after a time out. We have learned that in order to establish our rightful places on the bench we must employ stealthily techniques to assure that our feelings of security amongst other Parliament members remains intact. Thus, we now have the ability to sniff out a good seat from a mile away. We pounce, preying upon the perfect seat to assure wonderful posture.
This technique transfers to our lives off the court. Best seats at a movie theatre? Done. Do we always get shotgun in the car? Of course. If you need a perfect seat for any occasion, consider it done. The Parliament can find the most, in the words of Jimmy, "Super dupper comfy seat with rainbow sprinkles and chocolate swirls" in any venue anywhere.
If you are an experienced bench hunter than you undoubtably know that intelligence must be collected prior to every game. The Parliament gathers such intel at shoot around before our road games. We study the bench from a distance. We learn it's tendencies, flaws, and strengths. Even what factory that were made in. Patent leather? Hand stitched? Buoyancy? These are all things we consider before the actual hunting takes place.
Then, when the bench least expects it, we go in for the kill. When we are up by about 20 points with 3 minutes left, the Parliament likes to creep up the bench after a timeout. Eventually, we will be right up there in clear view of the coaches. Then it is the Parliaments time to shine! With visibility maximized we then check in after successfully completing our bench hunting.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Parliament Statistics
Faithful followers of the Parliament Blog are familiar with the odd statistics that we choose to keep track of at the end of the bench. Four games into the season there has been only one "touch." That touch belongs to Jimmy. It happened in Puerto Rico versus Purdue which, does count a little more since it was against Robbie Hummel. The Parliament permeates the Temple Basketabll culture in a way that I did not expect. Once Jimmy had the ball in his hand everyone on the bench said, "Jimmy! That's a touch!" At that very moment I felt like a proud father.
But now, we have a new stat to keep track of, "Wave Downs." When we watch film of our games, the Parliament directs its attention to the bench to see how much we celebrated after a Juan Fernandez three or a Rahlir Jefferson dunk. We then meet after film to talk about how we can change our celebrations to attract those ESPN cameras even more toward the outstanding set of gentleman at the end of the bench. However, as most great super human cheering groups that have the strength of the Avengers, the inevitable nemesis or antoganist must be present to balance the natural order of things. The "wave down" is administered by those who seek to oppress the Parliaments cheering ways, the referees. Every once in a while the Parliament is signaled by the refs to sit down and stop there cheering ways. Thus, the Parliament knows it is doing its job when the refs order us to sit down and stop the rowdiness. But do we stop cheering? No! Will we continue to stand and cheer for our teammates with amazing swag? Yes!
So as it stands now, Número 31 has the most wave downs this season with 3. Jimmy is close with 2. As always, we will keep you updated as the season goes on.
But now, we have a new stat to keep track of, "Wave Downs." When we watch film of our games, the Parliament directs its attention to the bench to see how much we celebrated after a Juan Fernandez three or a Rahlir Jefferson dunk. We then meet after film to talk about how we can change our celebrations to attract those ESPN cameras even more toward the outstanding set of gentleman at the end of the bench. However, as most great super human cheering groups that have the strength of the Avengers, the inevitable nemesis or antoganist must be present to balance the natural order of things. The "wave down" is administered by those who seek to oppress the Parliaments cheering ways, the referees. Every once in a while the Parliament is signaled by the refs to sit down and stop there cheering ways. Thus, the Parliament knows it is doing its job when the refs order us to sit down and stop the rowdiness. But do we stop cheering? No! Will we continue to stand and cheer for our teammates with amazing swag? Yes!
So as it stands now, Número 31 has the most wave downs this season with 3. Jimmy is close with 2. As always, we will keep you updated as the season goes on.
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Puerto Rico! Whaoooooo!
Since my time as a part of Temple Men's Basketball I have done a significant amount of traveling. I have seen a lot of interesting things on the road and seeing the world is something I have always desired to do. However, never have I actually wanted to move to one of places in which we have played. I mean, Athens, Ohio does not exactly have the same appeal as San Juan.
Our hotel gives it's guest a scenic view of the beach directly behind it, complete with palm trees and light green water that smashes up against a wall of dark coral. When I say green water I mean a nice green that are on postcards and not the dark nasty green of the Delaware in Philly.
Today is Saturday and we are enjoying some of the sites of San Juan as we bask in the sun. When we call home we create a little bit of jealousy seeing as though it's 40 degrees in Philly but a nice warm 84 degrees down here.
Now that you have been updated one what is going on over here, let us flashback to Mondays game versus Penn...
The Parliaments Most Awkward Moment!
We knew this day would come. Our preparation for this moment did not completely prepare us for the events that occurred in November 14th, 2011. It was our first game of the season in the legendary Palestra. Everyone was excited and collectively let out a sigh of relief due to the departure of the preseasons long practice hours.
The Temple Men's Basketball team went through our normal game day routines that we know like the back of our hands. We wake up, watch a little bit of film, have shoot around, have a nice pre-game meal and then depart for the arena. As we arrive we appreciate the history and the opportunity to play in the Palestra. We head to the locker room and put on the cherry and white uniforms that Underarmour has given us to make us look fly on the court. Again, the same warm up we have done for countless games ensues. Then the clock winds down. Dunphy gives us his normal inspiration speech before the tip off. Then it happened. As Jimmy and I sit down in the cushioned and comfy seats, we feel something missing. Simultaneously, two pairs of Parliament eyes connect with the founder of the Parliament. We gaze upon the front end of the bench to see Dutch in a suit and no longer by our side. A single tear falls down Jimmy's cheeks. Dutch gives us a reassuring nod that everything will be fine. Jimmy starts reaching out to Dutch like Rose reached out for Jack in the last moments of Titanic. I restrain Jimmy but the emotion overtakes him. He starts weeping like Ben Affleck wept in Armageddon when Bruce Willis took his spot to blow up the deadly asteroid.
With my new Golden Hands of Clap I comfort Jimmy like a lioness comforts her newborn cub. His tears digressed and the game continued. In that very moment we were tried by fire and we came out a little burnt. Not third degree burns, just a slight toasty singe of our Parliament pride that will heal in time as we get used to the new seating arrangement.
Our hotel gives it's guest a scenic view of the beach directly behind it, complete with palm trees and light green water that smashes up against a wall of dark coral. When I say green water I mean a nice green that are on postcards and not the dark nasty green of the Delaware in Philly.
Today is Saturday and we are enjoying some of the sites of San Juan as we bask in the sun. When we call home we create a little bit of jealousy seeing as though it's 40 degrees in Philly but a nice warm 84 degrees down here.
Now that you have been updated one what is going on over here, let us flashback to Mondays game versus Penn...
The Parliaments Most Awkward Moment!
We knew this day would come. Our preparation for this moment did not completely prepare us for the events that occurred in November 14th, 2011. It was our first game of the season in the legendary Palestra. Everyone was excited and collectively let out a sigh of relief due to the departure of the preseasons long practice hours.
The Temple Men's Basketball team went through our normal game day routines that we know like the back of our hands. We wake up, watch a little bit of film, have shoot around, have a nice pre-game meal and then depart for the arena. As we arrive we appreciate the history and the opportunity to play in the Palestra. We head to the locker room and put on the cherry and white uniforms that Underarmour has given us to make us look fly on the court. Again, the same warm up we have done for countless games ensues. Then the clock winds down. Dunphy gives us his normal inspiration speech before the tip off. Then it happened. As Jimmy and I sit down in the cushioned and comfy seats, we feel something missing. Simultaneously, two pairs of Parliament eyes connect with the founder of the Parliament. We gaze upon the front end of the bench to see Dutch in a suit and no longer by our side. A single tear falls down Jimmy's cheeks. Dutch gives us a reassuring nod that everything will be fine. Jimmy starts reaching out to Dutch like Rose reached out for Jack in the last moments of Titanic. I restrain Jimmy but the emotion overtakes him. He starts weeping like Ben Affleck wept in Armageddon when Bruce Willis took his spot to blow up the deadly asteroid.
With my new Golden Hands of Clap I comfort Jimmy like a lioness comforts her newborn cub. His tears digressed and the game continued. In that very moment we were tried by fire and we came out a little burnt. Not third degree burns, just a slight toasty singe of our Parliament pride that will heal in time as we get used to the new seating arrangement.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Star Wars: The Phantom Manager
The Parliament is used to being behind the scenes. They desire no camera attention or seek out to have the most followers on Twitter. Instead, they choose to be the power behind the throne. Similarly, Temple Men's basketball's managers are such beings of humility that they do their work much like the elves who make shoes for the hard working shoemaker that the Grimm Brothers wrote about.
There is one such elf that makes what the elves do as a whole, work. He is the gas for the V8, the wings for the plane, the roar for the lion and you do not even know his name. In his third year as a Temple University manager, Gerard Walsh is the mysterious aforementioned man of exceptional prowess. He was a padawon learner under the tutelage of Tyler Laurie AKA "Qui-Gon Jinn" thus making Walsh, "Obi-Wan Kenobi." The force is certainly strong with young Walsh. In fact his metachlorian count is the highest in the Republic. In one instance, Walsh summoned the force to single handedly clean the floor, take stats during practice, and give Khalif Wyatt a water bottle at every stop of play since Wyatt seemingly needs to be more hydrated than anyone else on the team.
Now what would a Jedi of such great power be without a worthy adversary? The antagonist of this story is the Dark Sith Lord Matt Lachs who seeks to supplant Walsh at all times. Lachs has battled Walsh for a chance to mop the floor or hand out the new sweatsuits on many occasions. Lachs of course wields a dual red lightsaber against Walsh and his blue lightsaber. The Liacouras Center is lighted up as the Dark Sith Lord and the young Jedi battle to the death, jumping to and fro from the 200 section to the 100 sections almost every night.
Tired of these battles the young Jedi Walsh seeks council from the wisest Jedi of all, Jeff "Yoda" Wilson. Yoda Wilson trains Walsh in order to smite his enemy on the lost planet of "MustacheDunpheen." With his unparalleled ability to use the force, Yoda Wilson saw the potential of Walsh and transferred all of his knowledge leaving the young Jedi with new abilities far beyond all Jedi's in the galaxy. After months of training Walsh returns to Temple stronger than ever. Just as he lands on campus the Dark Sith Lord attacks!....... Will good triumph over evil? Will Yoda Wilson's training pay off? All these questions will be answered so stay tuned for the next episode of "Star Wars: the Phantom Manager!"
There is one such elf that makes what the elves do as a whole, work. He is the gas for the V8, the wings for the plane, the roar for the lion and you do not even know his name. In his third year as a Temple University manager, Gerard Walsh is the mysterious aforementioned man of exceptional prowess. He was a padawon learner under the tutelage of Tyler Laurie AKA "Qui-Gon Jinn" thus making Walsh, "Obi-Wan Kenobi." The force is certainly strong with young Walsh. In fact his metachlorian count is the highest in the Republic. In one instance, Walsh summoned the force to single handedly clean the floor, take stats during practice, and give Khalif Wyatt a water bottle at every stop of play since Wyatt seemingly needs to be more hydrated than anyone else on the team.
Now what would a Jedi of such great power be without a worthy adversary? The antagonist of this story is the Dark Sith Lord Matt Lachs who seeks to supplant Walsh at all times. Lachs has battled Walsh for a chance to mop the floor or hand out the new sweatsuits on many occasions. Lachs of course wields a dual red lightsaber against Walsh and his blue lightsaber. The Liacouras Center is lighted up as the Dark Sith Lord and the young Jedi battle to the death, jumping to and fro from the 200 section to the 100 sections almost every night.
Tired of these battles the young Jedi Walsh seeks council from the wisest Jedi of all, Jeff "Yoda" Wilson. Yoda Wilson trains Walsh in order to smite his enemy on the lost planet of "MustacheDunpheen." With his unparalleled ability to use the force, Yoda Wilson saw the potential of Walsh and transferred all of his knowledge leaving the young Jedi with new abilities far beyond all Jedi's in the galaxy. After months of training Walsh returns to Temple stronger than ever. Just as he lands on campus the Dark Sith Lord attacks!....... Will good triumph over evil? Will Yoda Wilson's training pay off? All these questions will be answered so stay tuned for the next episode of "Star Wars: the Phantom Manager!"
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
The Parliament and the Golden Hands of Clap
All great super heroes experience a similar situation in which they question the nature of their work and take the inevitable hiatus. Given the Parliaments incredible super human cheering skills, they too went through a similar walk through the desert.
They needed to "find themselves" as they say. Jake and Jimmy took a long journey through the Sahara, the Amazon, and finally the frigid Antarctica to find what there heart sought. Realizing they were down a member (though Dutch will be at the front of the bench, at the end of the bench he will be with us in spirit), Jake and Jimmy found the holy grail of what all entities of Parliament nature seek.
It was in a deep, dark, desolate cave where the light was seen and caught Jimmy's eye. There in that cave was a set of glowing hands. The hands floated in mid air with a golden hew that made Jimmy's hair look even more radiant. Then suddenly the hands began to move. Slowly the hands came together to make a sound so wonderful, so awe inspiring, that it gave the Parliament just what it needed. The hands made the most purest clap sound to ever be clapped. Seeing as though the Parliaments main function is to clap (they are black belts in this discipline), Jake and Jimmy trained with the Golden Hands of Clap to become the most dangerous clappers in the known universe. In fact, the government now requires them to carry a permit for there now weapons of mass encouragement.
With their powers never stronger and the season mere weeks away, the Parliament is back and badder than ever.
They needed to "find themselves" as they say. Jake and Jimmy took a long journey through the Sahara, the Amazon, and finally the frigid Antarctica to find what there heart sought. Realizing they were down a member (though Dutch will be at the front of the bench, at the end of the bench he will be with us in spirit), Jake and Jimmy found the holy grail of what all entities of Parliament nature seek.
It was in a deep, dark, desolate cave where the light was seen and caught Jimmy's eye. There in that cave was a set of glowing hands. The hands floated in mid air with a golden hew that made Jimmy's hair look even more radiant. Then suddenly the hands began to move. Slowly the hands came together to make a sound so wonderful, so awe inspiring, that it gave the Parliament just what it needed. The hands made the most purest clap sound to ever be clapped. Seeing as though the Parliaments main function is to clap (they are black belts in this discipline), Jake and Jimmy trained with the Golden Hands of Clap to become the most dangerous clappers in the known universe. In fact, the government now requires them to carry a permit for there now weapons of mass encouragement.
With their powers never stronger and the season mere weeks away, the Parliament is back and badder than ever.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
The Parliament, We Now Can Bestow Knighthood
The summer time gives Temple Basketball players something that the school year does not, time. Yes, we still workout a lot and stay in the gym all day, but now we can go to the beach on the weekends and actually see our family and friends. For the Parliament this time allows us to be creative or for Jimmy to be super dupper happy about having plenty of time to complete his Calculous 9 homework. However, for the none brainiac side of the Parliament, this time means thinking of creative names for our teammates.
Some people are born with nicknames (Scootie Randall) and others have nicknames thrust upon them. You can not force a nickname on someone. It has to be a part of who they are and the name has to come forth from divine intervention. Dwayne Wades nickname, "The Flash," is an example of a forced and otherwise lame nickname. A bunch of people sat around and said,"Well gee guys, this totally cool guy named Dwayne Wade is too good to not have a nickname! Lets think of something....YEA!!!" The Parliament has come up with two names for two of our teammates that exemplify both great technique and precision when christening or donning said teammates with nicknames.
First, after much time and deliberation we now call Aaron Brown, "The Hackensack Locomotive." Why is this appropriate? Well, Aaron likes to take the ball to the rack while putting his head down and pretty much destroying every thing in his path. He is an unrelenting force on the court with too much momentum to be stopped. When the "Hackensack Locomotive" decides to do something, such as make 16 three pointers in a row during practice play, guaranteeing anyone who was on his team that day a win in every drill; it gets done. Thus, he has been given a fitting name by the "The Most Gangsta, Awesome, Unofficial, Governing Body at Temple University, The Parliament."
The second bestowee of the Parliaments nickname graces is TJ DiLeo. If you are an avid reader of the Parliaments Blog you know that TJ is also called the " Italian Monster." However, since the smallest Parliament member has had to guard the "Italian Monster" too much this summer he has unwillingly and embarrassingly come up with a new nickname for TJ. Let's just say that the Parliaments defense as a whole is questionable. So, when TJ gets a clear lane to dunk the ball in a way that would make the aforementioned weak defender's family cringe, a nickname must ensue. Appropriately enough, TJ's new nickname is, "The Cinnaminson Elevator." Similar to Clyde Drexler, TJ does not jump. He seems to glide and float in the air as he presses the buttons to ascend to some unknown floor that few even knew existed.
So stay tuned Parliament fans. More nicknames will come.
O yes! I almost forgot! Seeing as though the Parliaments members have some sort of Irish in their blood, our official theme song is, " I'm Shipping Up to Boston" by the Dropkick Murphy's.
Some people are born with nicknames (Scootie Randall) and others have nicknames thrust upon them. You can not force a nickname on someone. It has to be a part of who they are and the name has to come forth from divine intervention. Dwayne Wades nickname, "The Flash," is an example of a forced and otherwise lame nickname. A bunch of people sat around and said,"Well gee guys, this totally cool guy named Dwayne Wade is too good to not have a nickname! Lets think of something....YEA!!!" The Parliament has come up with two names for two of our teammates that exemplify both great technique and precision when christening or donning said teammates with nicknames.
First, after much time and deliberation we now call Aaron Brown, "The Hackensack Locomotive." Why is this appropriate? Well, Aaron likes to take the ball to the rack while putting his head down and pretty much destroying every thing in his path. He is an unrelenting force on the court with too much momentum to be stopped. When the "Hackensack Locomotive" decides to do something, such as make 16 three pointers in a row during practice play, guaranteeing anyone who was on his team that day a win in every drill; it gets done. Thus, he has been given a fitting name by the "The Most Gangsta, Awesome, Unofficial, Governing Body at Temple University, The Parliament."
The second bestowee of the Parliaments nickname graces is TJ DiLeo. If you are an avid reader of the Parliaments Blog you know that TJ is also called the " Italian Monster." However, since the smallest Parliament member has had to guard the "Italian Monster" too much this summer he has unwillingly and embarrassingly come up with a new nickname for TJ. Let's just say that the Parliaments defense as a whole is questionable. So, when TJ gets a clear lane to dunk the ball in a way that would make the aforementioned weak defender's family cringe, a nickname must ensue. Appropriately enough, TJ's new nickname is, "The Cinnaminson Elevator." Similar to Clyde Drexler, TJ does not jump. He seems to glide and float in the air as he presses the buttons to ascend to some unknown floor that few even knew existed.
So stay tuned Parliament fans. More nicknames will come.
O yes! I almost forgot! Seeing as though the Parliaments members have some sort of Irish in their blood, our official theme song is, " I'm Shipping Up to Boston" by the Dropkick Murphy's.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Ugh Loans
"That is so cool that you are a member of the Parliament!....but that means you still have to pay students loans right?"
As the Parliament grows older the reality of the world that we are about to step into after our playing days are over seems like it is heading toward us like a freight train. That freight train happens to be full of interest rates and those horrible student loans. See, being a Parliament member, with the exception of the beloved James McDonnel; means that you are a walk-on and you have been applying for these student loans every year. Yes, you still get to travel across the country, have your face shown on national television twice a week, and have shirts made for your awesome group showing you in true Temple Owl form that makes you look like Hooters distance cousin. But, coming out of college free of that extra monthly bill you have to pay is not a reality.
Not until the recent events in the world of baseball have the Parliaments members been so hopeful for those loans to simply be erased. Derek Jeter just had his 3,000th hit that has put him in a whole other stratosphere of athletic achievement. It was a home run that would seal his fate as one of the best baseball players of all time and get him that 3,000th hit. But the most important part of this story is that the home run ball was caught by a 23 year old, recent graduate from college. It was said that if that ball was auctioned off it could go for 500,000 dollars. However, this young student decided to give the ball back to Jeter. Of course, the kid was immediately compensated with memorabilia and probably met Jeter that night. Personally, I do not think that memorabilia is enough to make up for such an awesome act of kindness on that mans behalf. That 23 year old man has almost 100,000 dollars in debt. What if Jeter were to pay off his loans? Considering Jeter makes over 20 million dollars this year just from the Yankees organization and has made over 200 million dollars from the Yankees in his entire career, I do not think it would be too hard for Mr. Jeter to drop a 100 G's on this kid.
With that said, just about everyone who just read that who has students loans just went off into another world dreaming of a unique situation that would deem their debt paid. The Parliament has done such day dreaming and can only hope that they could catch a basketball on the bench worth 100,000 dollars.
As the Parliament grows older the reality of the world that we are about to step into after our playing days are over seems like it is heading toward us like a freight train. That freight train happens to be full of interest rates and those horrible student loans. See, being a Parliament member, with the exception of the beloved James McDonnel; means that you are a walk-on and you have been applying for these student loans every year. Yes, you still get to travel across the country, have your face shown on national television twice a week, and have shirts made for your awesome group showing you in true Temple Owl form that makes you look like Hooters distance cousin. But, coming out of college free of that extra monthly bill you have to pay is not a reality.
Not until the recent events in the world of baseball have the Parliaments members been so hopeful for those loans to simply be erased. Derek Jeter just had his 3,000th hit that has put him in a whole other stratosphere of athletic achievement. It was a home run that would seal his fate as one of the best baseball players of all time and get him that 3,000th hit. But the most important part of this story is that the home run ball was caught by a 23 year old, recent graduate from college. It was said that if that ball was auctioned off it could go for 500,000 dollars. However, this young student decided to give the ball back to Jeter. Of course, the kid was immediately compensated with memorabilia and probably met Jeter that night. Personally, I do not think that memorabilia is enough to make up for such an awesome act of kindness on that mans behalf. That 23 year old man has almost 100,000 dollars in debt. What if Jeter were to pay off his loans? Considering Jeter makes over 20 million dollars this year just from the Yankees organization and has made over 200 million dollars from the Yankees in his entire career, I do not think it would be too hard for Mr. Jeter to drop a 100 G's on this kid.
With that said, just about everyone who just read that who has students loans just went off into another world dreaming of a unique situation that would deem their debt paid. The Parliament has done such day dreaming and can only hope that they could catch a basketball on the bench worth 100,000 dollars.
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