Many have asked why the blog has not been updated in such a long time.
They have asked if the Parliament is still active. The truth is that we had to go rogue. We went on a mission that was deemed by Jimmy to be a,"Super dupper, way too secret mission, with a cherry on top." This mission took us to one of the coldest regions of the world. Jimmy and I are used to training in the Himalayas with Dutch Motzumoto, but this, this was a cold I had never experienced.
This missions goal was to initiate a new Parliament member, Nick Pendergast. It was assumed that he was a member by the general public. However, he had to go through his formal training and have Dutch's blessing. Plus, you can not just say someone is a member. We are an exclusive group. We have tri-weekly meetings, Sunday brunch, manicures for our sore clapping hands, and even have a secret hand shake. So, you just can not pick this stuff up. It has to be learned. The Parliament is a way of life. The best way to put it is that we are like Snapple, made up of the best stuff on earth.
Thus, in a small town outside of Moscow, Nick began the tests. His training was similar to Rocky before he fought Ivan Drago. Jimmy cheered him on like Adrian, while Dutch pushed him to his limit. 43 days days later, Nick was an official member.
He came back jacked. He received Dutch's blessing along with the golden hands of clap. He will show what he has learned at our next game versus Rhode Island.
Friday, February 3, 2012
Monday, December 19, 2011
Parliament Fever
Some have said that if you hang around the Parliament enough you will feel the cheer get into your bones. You can not help it. It is not your fault. It is just that contagious. It started as a breakout of infectious clapping. It then turned into an epidemic of bench fanatics feasting on the folly off their foes while fearlessly and fantastically cheering on their fellows (parliament alliteration is the bomb). Others fear it will become a pandemic and leave the world in a cheering frenzy.
There are those on the team who have caught the fever. Mike Eric and Scootie Randall have caught the virus and can not help but cheer. Mike adds a certain hair diversity that we were lacking. I, number 31, rock the faux hawk. Many fans have taken notice of my hair style and when Nick and I got into the game versus Toledo, a faux hawk chant broke out. Jimmy maintains his "Ellen Degeneres" look, much to the dismay of other Parliament members. Mike adds a certain kind of old school look to the Parliament. It is reminiscent of a shorter "kid n play" cut but certainly less dramatic (quick side note, Coach Trice had the same hair cut when he played at Penn, awesome).
Even our film coordinator, Raheem Mapp, fell prey to the fever. When we played Texas the ref pulled Dunphy aside and walked down the bench to Mapp and told him that he had to be quiet. He enjoyed his 10 seconds of being the main focus of the ESPN cameras. That was most certainly the crowning moment of the Parliament this week in Texas.
The Parliament has also caught the spirit of the holidays. Jimmy's favorite movie of all time is "Elf" starring Will Ferrel. This week on the USA Network they are showing the movie uncut. Although Jimmy usually stays away from movies rated higher than PG, he has some exceptions seeing as though he has watched it 5 times already. Jimmy has adopted the way of the elves and fabricated it for Parliament use, "The best way to spread Parliament cheer is clapping loud for all to hear."
The Parliament wishes Happy Holidays to you and yours!
Go Owls!
There are those on the team who have caught the fever. Mike Eric and Scootie Randall have caught the virus and can not help but cheer. Mike adds a certain hair diversity that we were lacking. I, number 31, rock the faux hawk. Many fans have taken notice of my hair style and when Nick and I got into the game versus Toledo, a faux hawk chant broke out. Jimmy maintains his "Ellen Degeneres" look, much to the dismay of other Parliament members. Mike adds a certain kind of old school look to the Parliament. It is reminiscent of a shorter "kid n play" cut but certainly less dramatic (quick side note, Coach Trice had the same hair cut when he played at Penn, awesome).
Even our film coordinator, Raheem Mapp, fell prey to the fever. When we played Texas the ref pulled Dunphy aside and walked down the bench to Mapp and told him that he had to be quiet. He enjoyed his 10 seconds of being the main focus of the ESPN cameras. That was most certainly the crowning moment of the Parliament this week in Texas.
The Parliament has also caught the spirit of the holidays. Jimmy's favorite movie of all time is "Elf" starring Will Ferrel. This week on the USA Network they are showing the movie uncut. Although Jimmy usually stays away from movies rated higher than PG, he has some exceptions seeing as though he has watched it 5 times already. Jimmy has adopted the way of the elves and fabricated it for Parliament use, "The best way to spread Parliament cheer is clapping loud for all to hear."
The Parliament wishes Happy Holidays to you and yours!
Go Owls!
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Bench Hunting
A good seat on the bench can prove to be allusive. The Parliament has its usual spot at the end of the bench but sometimes the Parliament gets separated. It is not unusual to find ourselves out of place sitting at the front end of the bench after a time out. We have learned that in order to establish our rightful places on the bench we must employ stealthily techniques to assure that our feelings of security amongst other Parliament members remains intact. Thus, we now have the ability to sniff out a good seat from a mile away. We pounce, preying upon the perfect seat to assure wonderful posture.
This technique transfers to our lives off the court. Best seats at a movie theatre? Done. Do we always get shotgun in the car? Of course. If you need a perfect seat for any occasion, consider it done. The Parliament can find the most, in the words of Jimmy, "Super dupper comfy seat with rainbow sprinkles and chocolate swirls" in any venue anywhere.
If you are an experienced bench hunter than you undoubtably know that intelligence must be collected prior to every game. The Parliament gathers such intel at shoot around before our road games. We study the bench from a distance. We learn it's tendencies, flaws, and strengths. Even what factory that were made in. Patent leather? Hand stitched? Buoyancy? These are all things we consider before the actual hunting takes place.
Then, when the bench least expects it, we go in for the kill. When we are up by about 20 points with 3 minutes left, the Parliament likes to creep up the bench after a timeout. Eventually, we will be right up there in clear view of the coaches. Then it is the Parliaments time to shine! With visibility maximized we then check in after successfully completing our bench hunting.
This technique transfers to our lives off the court. Best seats at a movie theatre? Done. Do we always get shotgun in the car? Of course. If you need a perfect seat for any occasion, consider it done. The Parliament can find the most, in the words of Jimmy, "Super dupper comfy seat with rainbow sprinkles and chocolate swirls" in any venue anywhere.
If you are an experienced bench hunter than you undoubtably know that intelligence must be collected prior to every game. The Parliament gathers such intel at shoot around before our road games. We study the bench from a distance. We learn it's tendencies, flaws, and strengths. Even what factory that were made in. Patent leather? Hand stitched? Buoyancy? These are all things we consider before the actual hunting takes place.
Then, when the bench least expects it, we go in for the kill. When we are up by about 20 points with 3 minutes left, the Parliament likes to creep up the bench after a timeout. Eventually, we will be right up there in clear view of the coaches. Then it is the Parliaments time to shine! With visibility maximized we then check in after successfully completing our bench hunting.
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Parliament Statistics
Faithful followers of the Parliament Blog are familiar with the odd statistics that we choose to keep track of at the end of the bench. Four games into the season there has been only one "touch." That touch belongs to Jimmy. It happened in Puerto Rico versus Purdue which, does count a little more since it was against Robbie Hummel. The Parliament permeates the Temple Basketabll culture in a way that I did not expect. Once Jimmy had the ball in his hand everyone on the bench said, "Jimmy! That's a touch!" At that very moment I felt like a proud father.
But now, we have a new stat to keep track of, "Wave Downs." When we watch film of our games, the Parliament directs its attention to the bench to see how much we celebrated after a Juan Fernandez three or a Rahlir Jefferson dunk. We then meet after film to talk about how we can change our celebrations to attract those ESPN cameras even more toward the outstanding set of gentleman at the end of the bench. However, as most great super human cheering groups that have the strength of the Avengers, the inevitable nemesis or antoganist must be present to balance the natural order of things. The "wave down" is administered by those who seek to oppress the Parliaments cheering ways, the referees. Every once in a while the Parliament is signaled by the refs to sit down and stop there cheering ways. Thus, the Parliament knows it is doing its job when the refs order us to sit down and stop the rowdiness. But do we stop cheering? No! Will we continue to stand and cheer for our teammates with amazing swag? Yes!
So as it stands now, Número 31 has the most wave downs this season with 3. Jimmy is close with 2. As always, we will keep you updated as the season goes on.
But now, we have a new stat to keep track of, "Wave Downs." When we watch film of our games, the Parliament directs its attention to the bench to see how much we celebrated after a Juan Fernandez three or a Rahlir Jefferson dunk. We then meet after film to talk about how we can change our celebrations to attract those ESPN cameras even more toward the outstanding set of gentleman at the end of the bench. However, as most great super human cheering groups that have the strength of the Avengers, the inevitable nemesis or antoganist must be present to balance the natural order of things. The "wave down" is administered by those who seek to oppress the Parliaments cheering ways, the referees. Every once in a while the Parliament is signaled by the refs to sit down and stop there cheering ways. Thus, the Parliament knows it is doing its job when the refs order us to sit down and stop the rowdiness. But do we stop cheering? No! Will we continue to stand and cheer for our teammates with amazing swag? Yes!
So as it stands now, Número 31 has the most wave downs this season with 3. Jimmy is close with 2. As always, we will keep you updated as the season goes on.
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Puerto Rico! Whaoooooo!
Since my time as a part of Temple Men's Basketball I have done a significant amount of traveling. I have seen a lot of interesting things on the road and seeing the world is something I have always desired to do. However, never have I actually wanted to move to one of places in which we have played. I mean, Athens, Ohio does not exactly have the same appeal as San Juan.
Our hotel gives it's guest a scenic view of the beach directly behind it, complete with palm trees and light green water that smashes up against a wall of dark coral. When I say green water I mean a nice green that are on postcards and not the dark nasty green of the Delaware in Philly.
Today is Saturday and we are enjoying some of the sites of San Juan as we bask in the sun. When we call home we create a little bit of jealousy seeing as though it's 40 degrees in Philly but a nice warm 84 degrees down here.
Now that you have been updated one what is going on over here, let us flashback to Mondays game versus Penn...
The Parliaments Most Awkward Moment!
We knew this day would come. Our preparation for this moment did not completely prepare us for the events that occurred in November 14th, 2011. It was our first game of the season in the legendary Palestra. Everyone was excited and collectively let out a sigh of relief due to the departure of the preseasons long practice hours.
The Temple Men's Basketball team went through our normal game day routines that we know like the back of our hands. We wake up, watch a little bit of film, have shoot around, have a nice pre-game meal and then depart for the arena. As we arrive we appreciate the history and the opportunity to play in the Palestra. We head to the locker room and put on the cherry and white uniforms that Underarmour has given us to make us look fly on the court. Again, the same warm up we have done for countless games ensues. Then the clock winds down. Dunphy gives us his normal inspiration speech before the tip off. Then it happened. As Jimmy and I sit down in the cushioned and comfy seats, we feel something missing. Simultaneously, two pairs of Parliament eyes connect with the founder of the Parliament. We gaze upon the front end of the bench to see Dutch in a suit and no longer by our side. A single tear falls down Jimmy's cheeks. Dutch gives us a reassuring nod that everything will be fine. Jimmy starts reaching out to Dutch like Rose reached out for Jack in the last moments of Titanic. I restrain Jimmy but the emotion overtakes him. He starts weeping like Ben Affleck wept in Armageddon when Bruce Willis took his spot to blow up the deadly asteroid.
With my new Golden Hands of Clap I comfort Jimmy like a lioness comforts her newborn cub. His tears digressed and the game continued. In that very moment we were tried by fire and we came out a little burnt. Not third degree burns, just a slight toasty singe of our Parliament pride that will heal in time as we get used to the new seating arrangement.
Our hotel gives it's guest a scenic view of the beach directly behind it, complete with palm trees and light green water that smashes up against a wall of dark coral. When I say green water I mean a nice green that are on postcards and not the dark nasty green of the Delaware in Philly.
Today is Saturday and we are enjoying some of the sites of San Juan as we bask in the sun. When we call home we create a little bit of jealousy seeing as though it's 40 degrees in Philly but a nice warm 84 degrees down here.
Now that you have been updated one what is going on over here, let us flashback to Mondays game versus Penn...
The Parliaments Most Awkward Moment!
We knew this day would come. Our preparation for this moment did not completely prepare us for the events that occurred in November 14th, 2011. It was our first game of the season in the legendary Palestra. Everyone was excited and collectively let out a sigh of relief due to the departure of the preseasons long practice hours.
The Temple Men's Basketball team went through our normal game day routines that we know like the back of our hands. We wake up, watch a little bit of film, have shoot around, have a nice pre-game meal and then depart for the arena. As we arrive we appreciate the history and the opportunity to play in the Palestra. We head to the locker room and put on the cherry and white uniforms that Underarmour has given us to make us look fly on the court. Again, the same warm up we have done for countless games ensues. Then the clock winds down. Dunphy gives us his normal inspiration speech before the tip off. Then it happened. As Jimmy and I sit down in the cushioned and comfy seats, we feel something missing. Simultaneously, two pairs of Parliament eyes connect with the founder of the Parliament. We gaze upon the front end of the bench to see Dutch in a suit and no longer by our side. A single tear falls down Jimmy's cheeks. Dutch gives us a reassuring nod that everything will be fine. Jimmy starts reaching out to Dutch like Rose reached out for Jack in the last moments of Titanic. I restrain Jimmy but the emotion overtakes him. He starts weeping like Ben Affleck wept in Armageddon when Bruce Willis took his spot to blow up the deadly asteroid.
With my new Golden Hands of Clap I comfort Jimmy like a lioness comforts her newborn cub. His tears digressed and the game continued. In that very moment we were tried by fire and we came out a little burnt. Not third degree burns, just a slight toasty singe of our Parliament pride that will heal in time as we get used to the new seating arrangement.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Star Wars: The Phantom Manager
The Parliament is used to being behind the scenes. They desire no camera attention or seek out to have the most followers on Twitter. Instead, they choose to be the power behind the throne. Similarly, Temple Men's basketball's managers are such beings of humility that they do their work much like the elves who make shoes for the hard working shoemaker that the Grimm Brothers wrote about.
There is one such elf that makes what the elves do as a whole, work. He is the gas for the V8, the wings for the plane, the roar for the lion and you do not even know his name. In his third year as a Temple University manager, Gerard Walsh is the mysterious aforementioned man of exceptional prowess. He was a padawon learner under the tutelage of Tyler Laurie AKA "Qui-Gon Jinn" thus making Walsh, "Obi-Wan Kenobi." The force is certainly strong with young Walsh. In fact his metachlorian count is the highest in the Republic. In one instance, Walsh summoned the force to single handedly clean the floor, take stats during practice, and give Khalif Wyatt a water bottle at every stop of play since Wyatt seemingly needs to be more hydrated than anyone else on the team.
Now what would a Jedi of such great power be without a worthy adversary? The antagonist of this story is the Dark Sith Lord Matt Lachs who seeks to supplant Walsh at all times. Lachs has battled Walsh for a chance to mop the floor or hand out the new sweatsuits on many occasions. Lachs of course wields a dual red lightsaber against Walsh and his blue lightsaber. The Liacouras Center is lighted up as the Dark Sith Lord and the young Jedi battle to the death, jumping to and fro from the 200 section to the 100 sections almost every night.
Tired of these battles the young Jedi Walsh seeks council from the wisest Jedi of all, Jeff "Yoda" Wilson. Yoda Wilson trains Walsh in order to smite his enemy on the lost planet of "MustacheDunpheen." With his unparalleled ability to use the force, Yoda Wilson saw the potential of Walsh and transferred all of his knowledge leaving the young Jedi with new abilities far beyond all Jedi's in the galaxy. After months of training Walsh returns to Temple stronger than ever. Just as he lands on campus the Dark Sith Lord attacks!....... Will good triumph over evil? Will Yoda Wilson's training pay off? All these questions will be answered so stay tuned for the next episode of "Star Wars: the Phantom Manager!"
There is one such elf that makes what the elves do as a whole, work. He is the gas for the V8, the wings for the plane, the roar for the lion and you do not even know his name. In his third year as a Temple University manager, Gerard Walsh is the mysterious aforementioned man of exceptional prowess. He was a padawon learner under the tutelage of Tyler Laurie AKA "Qui-Gon Jinn" thus making Walsh, "Obi-Wan Kenobi." The force is certainly strong with young Walsh. In fact his metachlorian count is the highest in the Republic. In one instance, Walsh summoned the force to single handedly clean the floor, take stats during practice, and give Khalif Wyatt a water bottle at every stop of play since Wyatt seemingly needs to be more hydrated than anyone else on the team.
Now what would a Jedi of such great power be without a worthy adversary? The antagonist of this story is the Dark Sith Lord Matt Lachs who seeks to supplant Walsh at all times. Lachs has battled Walsh for a chance to mop the floor or hand out the new sweatsuits on many occasions. Lachs of course wields a dual red lightsaber against Walsh and his blue lightsaber. The Liacouras Center is lighted up as the Dark Sith Lord and the young Jedi battle to the death, jumping to and fro from the 200 section to the 100 sections almost every night.
Tired of these battles the young Jedi Walsh seeks council from the wisest Jedi of all, Jeff "Yoda" Wilson. Yoda Wilson trains Walsh in order to smite his enemy on the lost planet of "MustacheDunpheen." With his unparalleled ability to use the force, Yoda Wilson saw the potential of Walsh and transferred all of his knowledge leaving the young Jedi with new abilities far beyond all Jedi's in the galaxy. After months of training Walsh returns to Temple stronger than ever. Just as he lands on campus the Dark Sith Lord attacks!....... Will good triumph over evil? Will Yoda Wilson's training pay off? All these questions will be answered so stay tuned for the next episode of "Star Wars: the Phantom Manager!"
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
The Parliament and the Golden Hands of Clap
All great super heroes experience a similar situation in which they question the nature of their work and take the inevitable hiatus. Given the Parliaments incredible super human cheering skills, they too went through a similar walk through the desert.
They needed to "find themselves" as they say. Jake and Jimmy took a long journey through the Sahara, the Amazon, and finally the frigid Antarctica to find what there heart sought. Realizing they were down a member (though Dutch will be at the front of the bench, at the end of the bench he will be with us in spirit), Jake and Jimmy found the holy grail of what all entities of Parliament nature seek.
It was in a deep, dark, desolate cave where the light was seen and caught Jimmy's eye. There in that cave was a set of glowing hands. The hands floated in mid air with a golden hew that made Jimmy's hair look even more radiant. Then suddenly the hands began to move. Slowly the hands came together to make a sound so wonderful, so awe inspiring, that it gave the Parliament just what it needed. The hands made the most purest clap sound to ever be clapped. Seeing as though the Parliaments main function is to clap (they are black belts in this discipline), Jake and Jimmy trained with the Golden Hands of Clap to become the most dangerous clappers in the known universe. In fact, the government now requires them to carry a permit for there now weapons of mass encouragement.
With their powers never stronger and the season mere weeks away, the Parliament is back and badder than ever.
They needed to "find themselves" as they say. Jake and Jimmy took a long journey through the Sahara, the Amazon, and finally the frigid Antarctica to find what there heart sought. Realizing they were down a member (though Dutch will be at the front of the bench, at the end of the bench he will be with us in spirit), Jake and Jimmy found the holy grail of what all entities of Parliament nature seek.
It was in a deep, dark, desolate cave where the light was seen and caught Jimmy's eye. There in that cave was a set of glowing hands. The hands floated in mid air with a golden hew that made Jimmy's hair look even more radiant. Then suddenly the hands began to move. Slowly the hands came together to make a sound so wonderful, so awe inspiring, that it gave the Parliament just what it needed. The hands made the most purest clap sound to ever be clapped. Seeing as though the Parliaments main function is to clap (they are black belts in this discipline), Jake and Jimmy trained with the Golden Hands of Clap to become the most dangerous clappers in the known universe. In fact, the government now requires them to carry a permit for there now weapons of mass encouragement.
With their powers never stronger and the season mere weeks away, the Parliament is back and badder than ever.
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