Saturday, November 26, 2011

Parliament Statistics

Faithful followers of the Parliament Blog are familiar with the odd statistics that we choose to keep track of at the end of the bench. Four games into the season there has been only one "touch." That touch belongs to Jimmy. It happened in Puerto Rico versus Purdue which, does count a little more since it was against Robbie Hummel. The Parliament permeates the Temple Basketabll culture in a way that I did not expect. Once Jimmy had the ball in his hand everyone on the bench said, "Jimmy! That's a touch!" At that very moment I felt like a proud father.
But now, we have a new stat to keep track of, "Wave Downs." When we watch film of our games, the Parliament directs its attention to the bench to see how much we celebrated after a Juan Fernandez three or a Rahlir Jefferson dunk. We then meet after film to talk about how we can change our celebrations to attract those ESPN cameras even more toward the outstanding set of gentleman at the end of the bench. However, as most great super human cheering groups that have the strength of the Avengers, the inevitable nemesis or antoganist must be present to balance the natural order of things. The "wave down" is administered by those who seek to oppress the Parliaments cheering ways, the referees. Every once in a while the Parliament is signaled by the refs to sit down and stop there cheering ways. Thus, the Parliament knows it is doing its job when the refs order us to sit down and stop the rowdiness. But do we stop cheering? No! Will we continue to stand and cheer for our teammates with amazing swag? Yes!
So as it stands now, NĂºmero 31 has the most wave downs this season with 3. Jimmy is close with 2. As always, we will keep you updated as the season goes on.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Puerto Rico! Whaoooooo!

Since my time as a part of Temple Men's Basketball I have done a significant amount of traveling. I have seen a lot of interesting things on the road and seeing the world is something I have always desired to do. However, never have I actually wanted to move to one of places in which we have played. I mean, Athens, Ohio does not exactly have the same appeal as San Juan.
Our hotel gives it's guest a scenic view of the beach directly behind it, complete with palm trees and light green water that smashes up against a wall of dark coral.  When I say green water I mean a nice green that are on postcards and not the dark nasty green of the Delaware in Philly.  
Today is Saturday and we are enjoying some of the sites of San Juan as we bask in the sun. When we call home we create a little bit of jealousy seeing as though it's 40 degrees in Philly but a nice warm 84 degrees down here.
Now that you have been updated one what is going on over here, let us flashback to Mondays game versus Penn...
The Parliaments Most Awkward Moment!

We knew this day would come. Our preparation for this moment did not completely prepare us for the events that occurred in November 14th, 2011. It was our first game of the season in the legendary Palestra. Everyone was excited and collectively let out a sigh of relief due to the departure of the preseasons long practice hours.
The Temple Men's Basketball team went through our normal game day routines that we know like the back of our hands. We wake up, watch a little bit of film, have shoot around, have a nice pre-game meal and then depart for the arena. As we arrive we appreciate the history and the opportunity to play in the Palestra. We head to the locker room and put on the cherry and white uniforms that Underarmour has given us to make us look fly on the court. Again, the same warm up we have done for countless games ensues. Then the clock winds down. Dunphy gives us his normal inspiration speech before the tip off. Then it happened. As Jimmy and I sit down in the cushioned and comfy seats, we feel something missing. Simultaneously, two pairs of Parliament eyes connect with the founder of the Parliament. We gaze upon the front end of the bench to see Dutch in a suit and no longer by our side. A single tear falls down Jimmy's cheeks. Dutch gives us a reassuring nod that everything will be fine. Jimmy starts reaching out to Dutch like Rose reached out for Jack in the last moments of Titanic. I restrain Jimmy but the emotion overtakes him. He starts weeping like Ben Affleck wept in Armageddon when Bruce Willis took his spot to blow up the deadly asteroid.
With my new Golden Hands of Clap I comfort Jimmy like a lioness comforts her newborn cub. His tears digressed and the game continued. In that very moment we were tried by fire and we came out a little burnt. Not third degree burns, just a slight toasty singe of our Parliament pride that will heal in time as we get used to the new seating arrangement.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Star Wars: The Phantom Manager

The Parliament is used to being behind the scenes. They desire no camera attention or seek out to have the most followers on Twitter. Instead, they choose to be the power behind the throne. Similarly, Temple Men's basketball's managers are such beings of humility that they do their work much like the elves who make shoes for the hard working shoemaker that the Grimm Brothers wrote about.
There is one such elf that makes what the elves do as a whole, work. He is the gas for the V8, the wings for the plane, the roar for the lion and you do not even know his name. In his third year as a Temple University manager, Gerard Walsh is the mysterious aforementioned man of exceptional prowess. He was a padawon learner under the tutelage of Tyler Laurie AKA "Qui-Gon Jinn" thus making Walsh, "Obi-Wan Kenobi." The force is certainly strong with young Walsh. In fact his metachlorian count is the highest in the Republic. In one instance, Walsh summoned the force to single handedly clean the floor, take stats during practice, and give Khalif Wyatt a water bottle at every stop of play since Wyatt seemingly needs to be more hydrated than anyone else on the team.
Now what would a Jedi of such great power be without a worthy adversary? The antagonist of this story is the Dark Sith Lord Matt Lachs who seeks to supplant Walsh at all times. Lachs has battled Walsh for a chance to mop the floor or hand out the new sweatsuits on many occasions. Lachs of course wields a dual red lightsaber against Walsh and his blue lightsaber. The Liacouras Center is lighted up as the Dark Sith Lord and the young Jedi battle to the death, jumping to and fro from the 200 section to the 100 sections almost every night.
Tired of these battles the young Jedi Walsh seeks council from the wisest Jedi of all, Jeff "Yoda" Wilson. Yoda Wilson trains Walsh in order to smite his enemy on the lost planet of "MustacheDunpheen." With his unparalleled ability to use the force, Yoda Wilson saw the potential of Walsh and transferred all of his knowledge leaving the young Jedi with new abilities far beyond all Jedi's in the galaxy. After months of training Walsh returns to Temple stronger than ever. Just as he lands on campus the Dark Sith Lord attacks!....... Will good triumph over evil? Will Yoda Wilson's training pay off? All these questions will be answered so stay tuned for the next episode of "Star Wars: the Phantom Manager!"