Monday, February 28, 2011

How the Parliament Passes Time on the Road

Number XXXI here hitting you with another Parliament update. We will be heading for Massachusetts this Wednesday and that means road trip number 3 in the past 2 weeks.

On road trips you can find an array of different ways Temple Men's Basketball pass the time on the plane or the bus.  Khalif Wyatt can be found dreaming of chocolate cake while Juan Fernandez reads the espanol version of Angels and Demons. Aaron Brown sits in the back with his “Beats by Dre” headphones and tries to think of new sayings and words that will become popular within the team. One such saying is, “Waddup doe?” (Language of origin: Aaronish…Definition: To ask a question in an extra inquisitive manner…Alternate pronunciations: “What’s up Though?”…Can you use it in a sentence please? “As Jimmy walked into the locker room with a TI:89 calculator and a copy of ‘Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul,’ Aaron replied, “Waddup doe?”) In case you did not notice, I broke down that saying in impeccable National Spelling Bee like fashion. Just as a side note, I want to point out that the exposing of hundreds of super intelligent children’s social ineptitude on ESPN year after year may be the most entertaining program ESPN has ever offered, but, I digress.

Rahlir Jefferson can be seen closing his eyes and gripping the arm rests in fear when we are 30,000 feet high. Before we take off I like to encourage Rahlirs fear by getting his attention, using my hand as a plane, and crashing it in the seat next to me while I make crash noises like a little kid playing with cars. Needless to say, he gets freaked out.

Dutch, being the great student he is, can always be seen highlighting pages in massive textbooks while Jimmy sleeps quietly snuggled up dreaming of the "Candy Cane Forest" and the "Sea of Swirly Twirly Gum Drops."

How do I like to pass the time? I sit there and listen to music and do something called, “space out." I space out and daydream like the disgruntled worker in the movie "Office Space." I think of things such as, "What if Juan had a ‘Dos Equis’ commercial?" I then "space out" and picture the scenes of that commercial. One of the lines would be, “When he runs, his hair the crowd." Another line would be, “His shampoo simply looks at him and says...'Thank You.'"

Every player is unique in his pregame ritual or road trip time passing. Either way being on the road is fun. Seeing the country and playing basketball is a great experience.



Friday, February 25, 2011

Behind the Scenes of The Parliament

Parliament Nation! Good Morning, Good Afternoon, or Good Evening! What ever time you find yourself reading this blog we welcome you. We got George Washington up next and hope that we can get a W.

First, I, número 31, would like to update our "Touches" category. The Italian Monster otherwise known as TJ DiLeo has entered the running for most "Touches" this season. So here are the numbers...

John Poulos-6
Italian Monster-1

Many have asked if the Parliament is just a group that simply likes publicity and behind closed doors does not get along and hates each other. Some speculate that we are like Destiny's Child, where everyone knows Beyonce (Dutch) and Kelly Rowland (me, número 31) but can not remember the other girl to save their lives (Jimmy). The Parliament has no such dissension. Instead, we like to call our selves a "brotherhood", a "fraternity", or even more fitting, a "A League of Extraordinary 'End of the Bench Hype Squad' Gentlemen." Whatever name we choose to explain our bond, the fact is that The Parliament is a well oiled machine. We are synchronized and can even finish each others sentences. The Parliament rolls together, especially on the road. When we have our pregame meals we sit together and The Parliament magic begins. 
Breaking bread together is the exact place we think of blog topics. When we brainstorm and find a good topic we proclaim with one voice and on one accord sing," Blog Topic!" Mere words fall short in explaining the chorus of voices that sing "Blog Topic." If I were to compare the sound to something you might know it would be when the cast of Jersey Shore say,"T-shirt Time!"

So in our future blogs you can rest assured that the sweet sound of "Blog Topics" will be what spawns such great and flowing paragraphs sung by men who can lull a baby wombat to sleep. 

Go Owls!


Tuesday, February 22, 2011

DUKE...We Must Protect His Hair!!!

Year in and year out Duke is one of the best teams in the country, and this year is no different. They have 2 of the best players in the country in Nolan Smith and Kyle Singler. We are going into a hostile environment and we need to play tough and smart if we are going to pull out this win.

College basketball is a great thing. So many great teams, players, coaches, and end of the bench hype squads. But one of the aspects that makes college basketball so great is the involvement of the other students that go to the school. They are so dedicated and really show their love for the team. And everyone knows that they show their love best after a big win by storming the court. The court storming is great, it brings everyone from the crowd onto the court to celebrate the win with their team. Students get to interact with the players, give high fives, hugs, some even attempt to still locks of Jimmy's amazing hair. But that will not happen, NOT UP IN HERE!! Once the game starts to wind down and looks like were going to win and there is going to be a court storming, the Parliament members go into protection mode. We have three members, thus we have three things to protect: first, Jimmy runs directly to the locker room and hides. Why? Because this is a perfect time for someone to attack his gorgeous locks. So we make him go and hide in the locker room. Jakes job? Well that's easy. He needs to protect the cheerleaders and diamond gems. A lot of you Parliamentiers (followers of the Parliament) might be asking, wouldn't they be celebrating with the rest of the students and players? That is where you are wrong. When a court storming occurs they are the most scared of anyone. They all look like Bambi after the mother gets shot in the beginning (and yes if you're reading this Jimmy she did get shot, she didn't go to "Deer Overnight Camp" like your parents told you). They are scared of the 100s of fans, mostly young males running down and groping on them. Let's be honest here. We have very attractive cheerleaders and diamond gems. We do not have any Snooki's, and in my opinion that is unfortunate because I would love to see Snooks running out on the court doing cartwheels, nothing would make me happier. They do a great job and we need someone to protect them from those young neanderthals we like to call college freshmen. This is where the Ginger Crusader comes to the rescue!! He swoops in and saves all the girls, literally he picks each one of them up and carries them to safety. I don't know he does it, he said he downloaded an app for it but I think he is lying. My job? Well I am the enforcer so I go and swarm the player who had the best game like when Bieber went after his his newly cut locks and tried to furiously glue stick them back to his head. Little did he know that Elmer's works the best for anything, guess he didn't have Miss Lippy for kindergarten. Soooooo if we use Georgetown as an example I went after Ramone like a spider monkey, making sure that no one could pry him from my kongfu grip. I then gracefully paraded around the court with the beauty of a ballerina, hard to believe? I've got footwork like Chris Brown, believe dat!! So next time we have a big win and you decide to storm the court please follow these three simple rules or we might have to get Michael Eric to bring in his African spear and show off his home grown talents. 

Go Owls!!!


Sunday, February 20, 2011

ST.JOE's...Well this is awkward

THE FUNERAL!! I don't think there is anything else that needs to be said. Huge Big 5/Atlantic 10 rivalry game. They have been playing really well as of late, so we need to come together as a team and tough this win out. Hopefully we get a good crowd to come out an show support before we go on the road for our next 3 games.

The national anthem is a beautiful thing. It doesn't matter who is singing because all I hear is a combination of Fergie and Jesus in my ears. But something that ruins this awesome yet strange perfect combo of music is the awkward hand shake we have to do before we go back to our benches. Its about as awkward as Jimmy seeing that guy Fabio with the long flowing blonde hair, you know who I am talking about, he's on the cover of all those sexual fantasy books that are right at the check out of all super markets. Well its awkward because that's who jimmy aspires to be when he grows up and that is why he grows his hair out. But jimmy refuses to admit that Fabio is his idol, thus the awkwardness. We all know a lot of the players on the other teams, so we usually go and talk to them before warm ups even start. We do this to get our pleasantries out of the way because once the warm ups start they are our enemy. Now don't get me wrong, the handshakes after the game are completely understandable and in my thoughts necessary. Especially after a hard fought game you want to tell the other team, 'good work, see ya next year, hey take a look at jimmys new hair style he's using a new stylist, blah blah blah.' The post-game handshakes and a sporting event go together hand in hand, no pun intended...they go together like lamb and tuna fish. Not a good analogy? Maybe spaghetti and meatball considering were in America.  But the pre-game handshakes have got to go, its like Juan trying to warm up WITHOUT singing miley in his head to get focused, they just don't work. I for one just go to center court and try my hardest not to acknowledge anyone on the other teams presence. So if you're out there A10 please get rid of it or Jimmy said he's going to shave his head. And we CAN NOT have that happen.

Go Owls!!!


Thursday, February 17, 2011

Bench Etiquette...The "Macho Man Technique"

Hello Parliament nation. Number 31 here serving you up a nice hot plate of Parliament knowledge.

As a Parliament member, we always have to be aware that the camera sometimes drifts over toward the bench and we might be seen doing something embarrassing, thus, ending up on "The Not So Top Ten Plays." No, it won't be us picking our noses or Dutch singing the Taylor Swift song that's playing during a timeout. Instead, it will be those times when the opposing team makes a great play that draws "ohhh's" and "Ahhh's" from the crowd. This is where bench etiquette comes into play. First, you can never react to a play by another team or a guy dunking on your entire squad. You must restrain yourself and wait until the ball goes down the other end. Then you place your warm-up over your mouth, lean over to a Parliament member and say,"Holy crap...that just happened." Second, as alluded to in the previous sentence use of the warm-up is key to bentch etiquette. There are those out there who can read lips. So we must be on the look out for people with such talent and never get caught saying things like,"Yo Jimmy, I think number 5's hair is much more fuller than yours. But he does have some split ends though."
Other bench etiquette techniques include Dutch and I simultaneously looking at Jimmy, not responding to his freshman like comment, shaking our heads side to side and looking back to the action. But the most important bench etiquette comes when your good friend Dutch Gaitley gets too hype and forgets that his friend, number 31, is still a 5'11, 180 pound guy and can not handle punches from a 6'10 tank. These are not punches out of anger. Rather, they are punches out of joy. Dutch occasionally (this has happened more than once) will make a prediction and say,"Jake, watch. We are going to hit a big three." In Miss Cleo like fashion, Dutchs fortune telling skills ring true and he in turn hits me in the chest saying,"I told you a big three man! I told you!" This is where the "Macho Man Technique" comes into play. Basically, if you were to meet Uma Thurmans character from  Kill Bill Vol.2 you would use this technique to counter the "Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique." First,  I wear a fake yet believable smile after I am hit in the chest 15 times.  I slowly sit down. Dutch has successfully knocked the wind out of me but I do not show it. Once again, I grab the warm-up and gasp for air. After recovering, I am finally able to speak and have used the technique flawlessly. I then continue my Parliamentary duties.

Go Owls!

Post Scriptum- Here is an update on "Touches"
John Poulos-5
Dutch Gaitley-4 (he almost had five when he tried to get a "touch" while the ball was in play. You have to admire his tenacity).


Wednesday, February 16, 2011

RICHMOND...Sticks and Stones may break our bones, but Chants will never hurt us.

It seems like all we have been playing lately are big games and that will not change tomorrow night. Richmond runs a very intricate offense and defense, so we will have to communicate a lot and just play sound basketball. We need a big crowd, i.e. the same crowd as the Georgetown game, because we are both tied for second place.

We sit at the end of the bench. We know, unless there are a couple injuries, we are not going into the game, unless it is a blow out. But this philosophy does not stop fans of opposing teams from making fun of us. All of us have heard our fair share of jokes made about us and we just laugh at them. We've heard the standard Jimmy joke, "How can you be sitting at the end of the bench and have your own talk show? Can I have your autograph Ellen DeGeneres?" Jake's been on the team for a couple of years so the away fans have been able to get to know him, "Did you lose your ring again Frodo?" They even make fun of me, the new guy that is only going to be here for a year, "Hey Shrek, Donkey called, he wants to know why you didn't save him any waffles?" Why do we just laugh at these jokes? Because of two reasons. One, if they are making fun of us it means the team is doing so well that they have nothing bad to say about them, and two, it means we are doing our job of motivating and providing enthusiasm to the team. One thing we are excited about is our upcoming Duke game. Why? Because they usually do some research about us. Maybe making fun of my high school nickname "Big Suburbs," or attack Jimmy's obsession of drinking honey (editor's note: this fact is true, Jimmy does drink honey before practice. His reasoning "it provides me with energy." I guess he hasn't heard that Red Bull gives you wings). So Temple fans, if you are going to heckle a player, at least take the time to find something out that is funny and will stick in their head during the game.



P.S. We would really love if we could get a "roll out shout out" during the St. Joe's game.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Warm-ups...The Parliaments Time to Shine

Hello Parliament fans! It’s number 31 here reporting for his Parliamentary duty. We had a big win at Dayton on Saturday and it was great to see our team come together in a hostile environment. We played well together against a great team with a great coach in Brian Gregory…

Being on a high profile team I get many questions about what players are like off the court or at the beginning of the season who is going to start. But if walk-ons had a website it's FAQ's about being a walk-on would be, "are you actually any good?" This question is understandable. There is not much documentation regarding the ability and skill level of many walk-ons since we are rarely seen on the court. We are elusive and similar to sightings of the legendary Chupacabra.
Many times my teammates tell me of someone they met who asked about me and asked that aforementioned question. So, we like to answer that question in warm-ups. If you show up early enough before a game you can witness some of the few white men in this world who can throw it down. You will witness Dutch go up and rattle the rim with a two-handed dunk or Jimmy do a classic and smooth two-handed slam. Or you could see me do my patented alley-oop to myself when I throw the ball up, let it bounce, catch and dunk it. But the most surprising thing about Temples Men’s basketballs highest jumpers are that the two Italians on our team are in the top 5 in vertical leap (I know the red hair sends mixed signals but I assure you I am Italian and know Dean Martins, “That’s Amore” word for word). TJ DiLeo, also known as, "The Italian Monster" boasts a 34 inch vertical which places him 3rd and I round out the top 5 with a 30 inch vert. When I tell people of TJ's ridiculous hops no one believes me, that is until he did his infamous, "McGonigle Hall, off the wall, make you jump out ya seat and fall, Cinnaminson Special," at Cherry and White night this year. TJ likes to throw the ball off the wall, catch it, and brings it around the backboard for an emphatic dunk. Needless to say, the crowd got pretty hype.

What else you will see in warm-ups is Jimmy McDonnell draining threes from the top of the key. What makes this so special is that Jimmy is 6 foot 10 and has the range of an NBA guard. Coach Dunphy saw Jimmy play this summer and choose to give him a scholarship. Jimmy was going to go D3 but when Dunphy saw him and his potential he wanted him to be an Owl. Was it a great move? I would answer you with a resounding, “Yes! Even his hair is cool!” The jump that Jimmy has made from our first team practice until now has been tremendous. He is learning more about the game and it is awesome to see him get better.
So next time try to make it out early to watch The Parliament warm-up and show off their stuff.

Go Owls!


Friday, February 11, 2011

DAYTON..."Bench Bouncer"

Hello Parliament and Temple Owl fans. Another big game coming up tomorrow afternoon. We really need to come ready to play because Dayton plays very well at home and we need to continue to be on a roll heading into the home stretch. Game is at 1PM on ESPNU.

Who watched the Villanova vs. Rutgers game? If you did you saw Rutgers make a three with 0.8 seconds left and get fouled. But did you see what happened on the bench? The Rutgers team started running around like they were a bunch of teenage girls and Bieber decided to check himself in at the point. They started running on the court, jumping on chairs, hugging each other, I am pretty sure I saw one of players start to do the dougie. They are lucky they didn't get a technical and lose the game. This would be a perfect scenario for a "Bench Bouncer." What is a "Bench Bouncer" you ask? Great question. Parliamentipedia defines a bench bouncer as "someone(s) who holds back the players on the bench after a big play is made at a critical point in the game, i.e. a three with 2.4 secs., a charge with 3.7, or an and 1 three with 0.8 seconds." Something that gets the whole bench excited where they feel the need to run on the court. Now maybe you are thinking, so who would be the "bench bouncer" for our team? First it would have to be someone that is in the middle of the bench. So this first off counts out our own Jimmy McDonnell, which is lucky for him because he might mess up his hair while trying to hold everyone back. Some towards the front of the bench? Maybe Anthony Lee you ask? Good thought but he would probably be using the exciting material for his next rap song...maybe "thank god scootie made that shot, oh damn that girl over there is hot" (im sorry, im a blogger not a rapper). We would need someone that has experience, has his head in the game, and strength to hold everyone back? If you're thinking of me, Dutch Gaitley, then you are correct. Experience? Check. I'm pretty sure I played my first Division 1 game before Jimmy got his first perm. Head in the game? Jessicia Biel could walk into the game, tap me on the shoulder while I am on the bench and say "Hey sweet stuff, I heard you're part of the Parliament?" and I would probably respond, "No Dayton is running a pick-n-roll offense, ARE YOU EVEN WATCHING?". Strength? As long as Mike Eric is still in the game, I think I'll be good. So if you see us make a three with 2.8 seconds left on the clock you'll see #45 going his best to hold everyone back, along with his PIC's 31 and 15 pitching in.



Wednesday, February 9, 2011

"Touches from Bench" Underrated Stat

Hello Parliament Fans! This is Parliament member Jake Godino. This being my first blog entry, I have to give props to my main man Dutch for jumpstarting The Parliament Movement. We hope you enjoy our blog and choose to join the Movement!

Have you ever been sitting close to a basketball game and the ball gets deflected towards you in the stands? Your heart starts pounding and you get your hands ready to catch the ball so you can say, "I touched the ball!" Well, for The Parliament, we keep track of these "touches" every game. What makes a "touch" such a big deal?  It is what that touch brings to The Parliament that makes it a statistic that is worthy of being recorded. Two words, "Air time." Have you ever seen a player or a ball go out of bounds and the fan that catches that ball or player? Chances are you have seen this fan. The camera man zooms in on that lucky fan who is wearing a grin from ear to ear. For example, when that one Phillies fan caught a baseball and gave it to his daughter, who in turn threw it back, would be similar to Dutch getting a "touch" and giving the ball to Jimmy. For The Parliament "touches" equal air time on our nationaly televised games. We get "touches" in anticipation that The Parliament will get some love. So far this season Dutch has 3 touches, Jimmy has recorded 2, and I fall at the end of the pack with 1. Although he is not an official member of The Parliament, our trainer John Poulos recorded a game high and season high 4 "touches" during our game versus LaSalle.

Being the smallest member of The Parliament, I am at a disadvantage seeing as though I am surrounded by two men with 7 foot wing spans. It is hard for me to reach out and get a "touch" when Dutch reaches out and Jimmy's waving hair smacks me in the face temporarily blinding me. However, when I got my first "touch" I was ecstatic. It was similar to the feeling I get when I realize that there is an update for Angry Birds on my iPhone and I get to play even more levels of flinging birds!

So be on the look out for The Parliament getting their "touches."

And as always, GO OWLS!


Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Fordham...To towel or not to towel?

Hello Parliament Fans...As you all know, big game coming up tomorrow night. We gotta take care of business vs. a very talented Fordham Rams team. We've been struggling coming out of the gates in the early parts of  our recent games, so hopefully we can work on that tomorrow, and we need to continue our home win streak

Now after watching the Xavier vs. Georgia game tonight we've noticed some important aspects. One, was the fact that the X-Men's hype squad brought their A game tonight. Now we know they are our conference rivals but we have to give credit where credit is due. They were up the entire game and it really payed off in the end for their team. The one thing we did notice was their last guy on the bench, who would be our Jimmy McDonnell, was using a towel the entire game. There are two thought processes for this: on the one hand it draws attention to the hype squad, which is not what we are here to do. We are here to motivate and encourage our teammates on the court, and try to help out in any way we can, especially in the first half when the defense is in front of our bench. Now if an announcer wants to give us a shout out, sure why not. If a fan wants to start a "Parliament" chant, go ahead, Jimmy will probably join in with you, with a huge, innocent smile on his face. Now on the other hand there could be physical harm when that towel is being whipped around. If anyone saw Chandler Parsons get hit in the manly region then you know what we are talking about. But it begs us to task the question, should we have someone use a towel? We are more into claps and high fans. Maybe a few butt slaps, but only if they truly deserve them. Parliament Fans please let us know your thoughts. DJJ

Monday, February 7, 2011

Hello Parliament Pans!!

This is the official blog of Temple Basketball's Parliament. The Parliament, consisting of Dutch Gaitley, Jake Godino, and Jimmy McDonnell, is the end of the bench hype squad for the men's team. On this blog we will be posting out thoughts about up coming games, reactions to games, observations from other teams "hype squads", and our overall collective views on the sports world. If you aren't already, please follow us on Facebook (just type in "The Parliament.") COMING SOON!!! Hopefully the creation of our very own t-shirts.