Thursday, December 15, 2011

Bench Hunting

A good seat on the bench can prove to be allusive. The Parliament has its usual spot at the end of the bench but sometimes the Parliament gets separated. It is not unusual to find ourselves out of place sitting at the front end of the bench after a time out. We have learned that in order to establish our rightful places on the bench we must employ stealthily techniques to assure that our feelings of security amongst other Parliament members remains intact. Thus, we now have the ability to sniff out a good seat from a mile away. We pounce, preying upon the perfect seat to assure wonderful posture.
This technique transfers to our lives off the court. Best seats at a movie theatre? Done. Do we always get shotgun in the car? Of course. If you need a perfect seat for any occasion, consider it done. The Parliament can find the most, in the words of Jimmy, "Super dupper comfy seat with rainbow sprinkles and chocolate swirls" in any venue anywhere.
If you are an experienced bench hunter than you undoubtably know that intelligence must be collected prior to every game. The Parliament gathers such intel at shoot around before our road games. We study the bench from a distance. We learn it's tendencies, flaws, and strengths. Even what factory that were made in. Patent leather? Hand stitched? Buoyancy? These are all things we consider before the actual hunting takes place.
Then, when the bench least expects it, we go in for the kill. When we are up by about 20 points with 3 minutes left, the Parliament likes to creep up the bench after a timeout. Eventually, we will be right up there in clear view of the coaches. Then it is the Parliaments time to shine! With visibility maximized we then check in after successfully completing our bench hunting.

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