Tuesday, May 3, 2011

The Off Season: Time to Recruit

A lot of aspiring players always ask me how to become a walk-on and if it is worth it. They ask about the process and if it is hard to get a spot on the team. What is it like? What are the benefits? I answer these inqisitive questions with relative ease. However, others ask a more specific question, "How do I become a member of the Parliament?" This question is not so easy to answer. It requires a long explanation that some are not meant to hear. It requires time, love, and a little bit of the "it" factor. So please, open your mind and visualize the scene that makes a Parliament member excepted into this super, awesome, and totally gansta group.
The trainging is rigorous, painful, and not for the faint hearted. First, you will have to climb the "1,000 Steps of Truth" until you reach the guru, the master, the one true warrior; Dutch Suzuki Mozumoto. You will find him sitting on the very air you breath, Indian style. He does not speak with words. He requires his padawan learners to take a vow of silence and learn how to speak with cheering. He will teach you "Bench Jiu-Jitsu, "The Kung Fu Clap", and "The Karate Cheer." After months of training in the Himalayas, you will then meet Jake Foo Man Choo and James Hyabusa. There, and only there, can your training be complete by using all your knowledge in a " cheer off." At the very top of the Himalayas you will combat Jake Foo Man Choo and James Hyabusa while sitting on a bench made of the cheers of walk-ons in physical form. If you defeat these gigantic warriors you are officially a member of the Parliament...

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